No golf for the skeleton short joke

by Spencer
(Lodi)

Best funny jokes :

Why can't the skeleton play golf?

Because he's got no balls.

Men short quote

by No One
(Canada)

Men are like carpets, lay them right the first time, and you can walk all over them for 25 years!

Nutrition and health

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health.


1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than
the English.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English.

CONCLUSION
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Love story

by Britney

A man and a woman who had never met before, but were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly... he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned over and gently woke the woman saying, Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

"I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married." "Wow! That's a great idea!" he exclaimed.

"Good," she replied. "Get your own f**king blanket."

After a moment of silence, he farted.

Lazy men

by Jane Kostman
(Colorado springs co)

Why are men like dogs?

Because they love to lay around

Motivation at its finest

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?"

I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'

Mother joke

by Shane
(Norwood, PA)

You will never be the man your mother is!!!!!!!

Knock Knock Short Clean Joke

Knock knock !

-who the heck's there ????
-Joe
-Joe who? never heard of that name
-No joking idiot!!!

LOL Stupid joke

by LULU
(USA)

KNOCK, KNOCK
WHOSE THERE?
PENCIL
PENCIL WHO?
PENCILVANNIA