The Very Best Blonde Jokes Ever

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10) Did you hear the one about the Blonde woman - she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

9) A Blonde goes over to her friend's house wearing a T.G.I.F. tee-shirt. "Why are you wearing a Thank God it's Friday Tee-shirt on Monday?" "Oh crap!" the blonde says, "I thought it meant Tits Go In Front."

8) What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair? Last year's Hide and Seek winner.

7) Did you hear the one about the blonde woman - she thought a quarterback was a refund.

6) A blonde gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs to find her husband naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" she asks. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the husband. The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she's dialing, her four-year-old son comes up and says, "Mommy! Mommy! Aunt Shirley is hiding in your closet, and she's got no clothes on!" The blonde slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, right past her husband, and rips open the closet door. Sure enough, there is her sister, totally naked and cowering on the closet floor. "You rotten woman," she screams. "My husband's having a heart attack, and you're running around naked scaring the kids!!"

Our favorite five best blonde jokes ever...

5) Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again. An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting in to your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?" The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick."

4) A drunk blonde is sprawled out on the bar counter stabbing at the olive in her Martini with a toothpick. This carries on for a few minutes until a guy watching grabs the toothpick and skewers the olive in a single attempt.
"That's how to do it" Says the guy.
"Big deal", says the blonde, "you only got him because I tired him out!"

3) A blonde and a brunette were taking the elevator to the lobby from the 25th floor. On the 23rd floor, a very handsome looking man with great hair but obvious dandruff gets into the elevator. The women exchange a look acknowledging just how good looking this man is. The man gets off the elevator on the 12th floor. The women watch him exit the elevator. Then the brunette turns to the blonde and says, 'God was he good looking, but someone ought to give him some Head & Shoulders.' To which the blonde replies (wait for it!) ....... How do you give Shoulders?'

2) An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."

The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get Burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The blonde opened his lunch and said, "Polony again! If I get a polony sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."

The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.

The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a Burritos, and jumped, too.

The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the polony and jumped to his death as well.

At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping.She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"

The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated Burritos so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said,

"Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch"

This last blonde joke is definitely an oldie but a goodie...

1) Two blondes walk into a building... you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.

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