Funny Clean Office Jokes

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10) The boss has just caught you sleeping at your desk, think quickly, what do you say?
"They told me this might happen after donating all that blood."
"This print is getting smaller and smaller, perhaps I should make that appointment with the optometrist."
"Jeez, thanks for interrupting, I almost figured out how we could solve that problem with...."
"Amen."

9) Success at the work place is a matter of luck, selling out your colleagues and complimenting the bosses with regular monotony. Just ask those who don't have it.

8) True story: At my old work back in South Africa I passed the office print room one day when I saw one of the new affirmative action employees making photocopies. Only one problem, all the copies were coming out plain white.
Thinking that perhaps this person had forgot to actually insert the page that needed to be copied, I politely enquired, "What are you doing?"
"What does it look like?" came the rather indignified response, "I'm making paper!"

7) How to get fired: 5 minutes into the next office meeting empty the large water decanter in the center of the table, place your paper boat (that you made during the first 5 minutes) in the water and watch it sail across the table while blowing to help it along.
Or: Bring a hand puppet to speak on your behalf and to clarify important points to the other staff.

6) Why is it that there are always beer bottles rolling around under the seats and the sound system set to full volume when the boss needs a lift home?!

Our top 5 funny clean office jokes:

5) Man inside the offices of the RSPCA: "These offices are so small you couldn't swing a cat in here."

4) A boss is talking to new employee about being consistently late.
"Do you know when the working begins in this office?!"
"Not really", replies the worker, "everybody's usually hard at it by the time I arrive."

3) This is no office, it's hell with cubicles and fluorescent lighting!

2) I always dreamt of working from home one day. I'm now divorced and sleep under my office desk.

Best of the funny clean office jokes

1) A company sales representative walks into his boss's office looking a bit ruffled.
"Boss" he says," I have bad news."
"Don't always be so negative" says the boss, "sales is all about a positive attitude."
"Okay" says the sales rep, "the air bag works in the company car."

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