Free funny text messages: hilarious texting jokes

10) What's the height of suspicion? Nuns doing pushups in the cucumber field.

9) A man hopes for a woman who is great in the kitchen, fantastic in bed, and knows how to entertain friends and family. He also hopes that these 3 women never meet.

8) My girlfriend phoned the other day, she said there was nobody home and that I should go over. Sure enough there was nobody home when I got there.

7) She's not your type, she doesn't inflate.

6) John went to the doctor with ice cubes up his nostrils.
Doctor:"John, have you been sniffing coke again?"

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Top 5 free funny text messages

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5) 25% of the population are lying on the beach, 14% are making love, 42% are partying hard, 18% are shopping, and 1 chump is holding a mobile in his hand...

4) Braindetector reading, connecting and activated. Calibrating user's mobile and searching.........still searching.....still searching.......sorry, no brains detected.

3) If I promise to go to the end of the world for you, would you promise not to follow?!

2) Hello, this is your cell phone. Don't worry, there's no problem I just wanted some fresh air, it smells really bad down there.

1) Did I not see you outside your house yesterday wearing a gray jacket? No.
Oh, so maybe it Was the rubbish bag then.

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