Funny free text jokes: Free funny text messages

10) What's the difference between a lover and a wife? About 30 pounds.

9) 3 monkeys escaped from the local zoo. One was found suntanning at the beach, the second was found at the corner pub, and the last was caught reading this.

8) Why was man created before woman? Things had to get done before the talking began.

7) Why was woman created after man? They needed a rough working draft to test before creating the final master piece.

6) Naughty SMS message: I want to suck and lick it slowly, move my tongue all around it and feel it in my mouth...oh how I love eating ice cream!

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Top 5 very best funny free text jokes

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5) Why was the elephant laughing at the naked man? He was amused by the small trunk he had to breathe through.

4) The chances of people watching you are directly proportional to the frequency of your stupid acts. We're watching...

3) What do you have when you mix PMS and ESP? A bitch from hell that knows everything!

2) I am allowed to please 1 person per day. My daily quota has already been filled. Tomorrow isn't looking so good for you either.

1) That's funny Scotty, now beam my clothes down!

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