Funny Short Sayings

The top 20 best funny short sayings ever:

20. Centuries ago sacrifices were made at the altar, some things don't change.

19. Eat less, taste more - Old Chines proverb (Although how different can a bowl of rice taste?)

18. If winning isn't everything then why is everybody keeping score?

17. I enjoy work. It's fascinating. I can sit and stare at people working for hours.

16. Being a good host is making your guests feel like they're at home even if you wish they were.

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15. Why does the news start with “Good Evening” and then they tell you everything that's wrong in the world?

14. Ad on the side of a plumber’s truck: ‘We repair what your husband fixed.’

13. Credit is something people give you if you can prove that you owe a lot of other people money.

12. When you think you're alone and nobody cares if you're alive try miss your mortgage payments.

11. Another slogan on the truck of a plumbing company: ‘Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.’

Our top 10 funny short sayings.

10. In the window of an appliance shop: ‘Don’t kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.’

9. Women can fake orgasms but men can fake the whole relationship.

8. Better to keep quiet and only let people think you're an idiot than to speak up and confirm it.

7. What's the point in being the richest man in the cemetery.

6. Women don't hit as hard, but they aim lower.

5. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they don't get away.

4. Buses travel faster when you're outside running after them.

3. On the other hand you have different fingers.

2. Remember that you are unique, just like everyone else.

1. According to physics the bumble bee should not be able to fly, but the bumble doesn't know this and so it flies.

 

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