Funny Good Clean Short Jokes

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10) Paddy's driving on the motorway from Cork to Dublin and he gets pulled over by a traffic officer.
"Sir" says the officer, "I'm pulling you over because you were going 90 milesper hour."
"Nonsense," exclaims Paddy, "I've only been driving for 15 minutes!"

9) Definition of Office: A place you can unwind after being with the family all weekend.

8) A blonde goes to the doctor complaining that she hurts everywhere.
She touches her leg and she says it hurts.
She touches her stomach and she says, "Ouch, that hurts too."
She touches her hair and she exclaims, "You see even my hair hurts!"
The doctor says, "Your finger's broken."

7) A rather drunk man phones the AA offices.
"Is that the Alcolohiczz Anomonous, please?" he enquires.
"Yes sir", says a friendly voice, "would you like to know when our next meeting is?"
"No," says the drunk man, "I want to resign."

6) Two lawyers jump off the 10th floor of an office building. One is wearing a striped suit and one is wearing a plain gray suit. Which lawyer hits the ground first?
Who cares!

Our top 5 good clean short jokes:

5) Funny office answering machine message: "Sorry you couldn't reach me but I'm at the hospital having my brain removed so that I can get the management position."

4) As soon as you wake up swing your foot with vicious force banging your little toe into the side of the bed. Now walk outside and eat the first living thing you can find smaller than your hand, then tell your wife that she needs to diet.
Right, now you don't have to worry about anything worse happening for the rest of the day.

3) General rule of thumb: When driving, those traveling slower are idiots and those traveling faster are maniacs.

2) Sign in the window of an appliance store: "Don't kill your wife, our washing machine can do the job for you."

Best of the good clean short jokes

1) A drunk is staggering around when he's stopped by a police officer.
"And what may I ask are you doing?" says the officer.
"I'm on my way to a lecture," says the drunk.
"Oh yes" says the skeptical officer, "and where might that be at this time of the night?"
"At my house", says the drunk, "by my wife!"

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