Funniest Hilarious Comedy Jokes Ever"We think these are the most hilarious comedy jokes ever... but then we're biased. If you think you can do better then add your paw prints at the bottom..."
Funny-Fix.com is giving away 'Get Your Fix' - Click Here for your Free Jokes Ebook! Luxurious Cat Spa Instructions on how to bathe your cat quickly and effortlessly: 1. Open the outside door. 2. Lift both lids of the toilet and add shampoo to the toilet water. 3. Find cat, bribe it with food, and stroke it in a loving like way while carrying it to the toilet. 4. Before the cat cottons on, cover it's eyes and in one foul swoop insert cat into toilet while closing both lids with your feet. Quickly hop onto toilet seat to prevent escape. 5. Flush toilet. The cat's movement will create ample agitation for self cleansing. Don't concern yourself too much about the noise, cats enjoy this sort of thing. 6. Repeat step 5 twice or more. This is commonly known as the power rinse and will eradicate unwanted post soapiness. 7. Once you have positioned yourself securely behind the toilet quickly lift both lids. 8. The sparkling clean cat will now leisurely make its way to the outside area and dry itself. Hilarious comedy jokes: The Magician and the parrot A magician is working on a ship cruising the Mediterranean. Because the audience is different between ports the magician performs mostly the same magic tricks. Unfortunately for the magician the captain's parrot saw every shows every week and learned all the tricks. This wouldn't have been a problem however the parrot began sharing the tricks with the audience. For example (in Parrot's voice) "Look, it's not the same deck of cards!", "He has two rabbits, one is under the table", "All the cards are hearts" etc. Of course the magician was furious but if he tried anything with the parrot he would lose his job. One day the ship hit a rock and sank. As luck would have it the parrot and the magician both found themselves clinging to the same plank miles out at sea in the middle of nowhere. They stared at each other for days but neither said a word. Just as it seemed as if the one would speak the silence would continue. Finally after a week the parrot finally gave in, Do you have a great joke for us?We'd love to hear it, please submit it in the form below...
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