He got talent

by carl haerrold b. cabanias
(philippines)

Hilarious short jokes

A salesman came home and told his wife, "Sorry honey, I just lost 500 dollars to a customer."

She exclaimed, "That's terrible! What the hell happened!?"

He explained, "He told me that he's gifted, he could sing almost every song that has ever existed. And I didn't believe him."

She said, "Me neither!"

He continues, "So he bet me 500 dollars that he could sing a genuine song with a lady's name of my choice in it. So I said Joanna Moss, your name."

"Then?" she asked.

"Then he sang: 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to Joanna Moss...'."

Always remember:
Everybody has talent, it's just a matter of moving around until you've discovered what it is.

Fish in the Sea

by Jeff J

There are plenty of fish in the sea, but until I catch one, im just stuck here holding my rod...

Female dwarf

A female dwarf goes to a doctor complaining of an embarrassing itch in the groin area. The doctor looks her up and down, picks her up and stands her on his desk. He lifts up her skirt and puts his head under. A little perplexed, she hears snip, snip, snip, snip.

The doctor emerges from under her skirt. 'How's that?'

'Well, it's a lot better actually, but...........it's still there.'

Undaunted, he dives back under her skirt. Snip, snip, snip, snip.

Out he comes. 'How's that?' he asks again more confident.

'That's wonderful! What did you do?'

'I trimmed the top of your Ugg boots.

Fat Lady on a Bus

by Greg

The boy was in a full bus when a fat lady opposite said to him, "If you were a gentleman, you'd stand up and let someone else sit down."

"And if you were a lady," the boy replied, "you'd stand up and let four people sit down!"

Irish air disaster

by Chris

Ireland 's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery.

Irish search and rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.

Grandpa in his sleep short joke

by Ross Bowes
(London)

I want to die just like my Grandpa, in my sleep. Not screaming my head off, like his passengers.

Japanese hostages

Have you heard about the case of the fugitive who held hostage a busload of Japanese tourists?

The police have 5,000 pictures of him.

I booked a horse

by Remy Crosby
(Nottingham, United Kingdom)

I booked a horse in at ten to one and it came in at quarter to four.