Quick rude jokes

by Brian
(Wisconsin)

Some quick rude jokes that I heard recently:
Two 7 year old girls, Mary and Katy, are discussing what a penis is when Mary decides she is going to ask her dad. That evening her dad gladly exposes himself, takes his penis in his hand and says, "This, Mary, is a penis. In fact, this is a perfect penis."

The next day the two girls are bragging that they now know what a penis is when Umfolozi, the new kid in class, overhears them.
"You don't know what a penis is", challenges Umfolozi.
"Of course we do," say the girls, "pull your pants down".
The boy does as he is told.
"That", says Mary, "is a penis, and if it were three inches shorter it would also be a perfect penis!"


Q: How do you get four sweet old grannies to say "F$CK!"?

A: Get their friend to shout "BINGO!"


Three Altar Boys, a lawyer and a priest are in a plane when it loses both engines and starts plummeting to earth.
The pilot, already has his parachute in place and is about to jump out when he informs the other passengers that there are only 3 parachutes and perhaps they should give them to the Altar boys, seeing that they still have their whole lives in front of them."
The lawyer says "Fuck the Altar Boys!"
And the priest asks, "Do we have time?"