Funny-Fix's Really Funny Jokes Blog

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A bad wedding joke

A man and a woman decided to get married in an old fashion style so they rented a horse and ride on it, but unfortunately the horse kicked the mother in

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Knocked at the door short joke

A man that have no legs and no arms, he went to a prostitute's house and knocked at the door,the prostitute opened the door and said : What am I going

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Drunk funny texting

*texting with my friend* Me : Dude what's up?? Friend: Nothing Are you alright you were f*ucked up last night at the party Me: No Why you say that?

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Twist of a Thumb riddle

By the twist of a thumb it’s controlled Guarding treasures within its hold Forever on end it dances ‘round Until time stops --only to be rewound. What

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Running away from a blonde

A man was driving his car and suddenly he saw the police's car behind him and he began to speed his car,and the closer the police's car came to his car

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4 questions riddle

What is bigger that God, more evil that the devil,the poor people have it, and the rich people need it? The answer:--NOTHIN

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Nock Nock short joke

Nock Nock. Question : Who's there? Answer : Europe Question : Europe who ? Answer : No I'm not, you're a poo

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Perfect woman short joke

It's important to have a woman that cook for you and clean your house. It's important to have a woman that work and help you to pay the bills. It's important

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Doesn't look the same short joke

A man told his co-worker Last night my wife was on her knees for a long time right in front of me So he co--worker asked him---And what she was doing?

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Paradise religious joke

A man and his wife died,and at the appointed time in the resurrection they came back alive and they were received by Saint Peter, Peter ---Welcome to

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Lol blonde joke

A Blonde was lonely so she bought herself a puppy. She said whatever she hears on Tv she would name her dog. She herd crack. Then she moved and she said

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Racist joke in the space

Two white men graduated as astronauts and they were trying to make a trip to the moon,but also a black men was trying to get there with them and he said.

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What do you get ?

What do you get when you mixed a black man with a mexican woman? A cuban.

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Jesus is watching you joke

One night a man decided to brake in somebody's house and went he got inside the house he found out it was a parrot talking and saying Jesus is watching

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Married man joke

Man1: When ever I feel stressed or tensed in office, I just look at my wife's photo and all problems disappear. Man2: Wow! Man1: The thing is, I look

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Water into wine religious joke

One day a preacher was driving around the town but he was driving very funny so a police officer saw what he was doing and pursuit him in the police's

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Idioma latin joke

Un predicar americano decide ir a Miami donde estan la mayoria de los cubanos pero muchos de ellos no sabian hablar el ingles,asi que decidio encontrar

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Blondie got smart

A blonde was sitting in the airplane reading a watch tower's magazine next to a man,but the man did not want to talk about the subject of the magazine

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Hunters in Africa joke

Two profesional hunters found each other after many years, they began to talk about the good old days, and one of them said : ----Man last week I was

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Phone call jehovah's witness joke

A man was looking for a church where he could talk to God as a man talk to his friend,so he went to the Catholic's church and they told him that he could

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El amor al dinero latin joke

Un hombre fue a la iglesia para hablar con el Predicador y queria que el predicador hablara bien de su perro que habia muerto y en el entierro del perro

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The circle blonde joke

A blonde ran a red light and smashed into a catalack the man got out and started yelling at the blonde. She just stared back at him so he drew a circle

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You ugly one liner insult

You are so ugly when you where born ya mamma said what the fuck is thi

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Gracias por la comida

Un hombre fue a cazar por el bozque y de repente vio un oso bien grande y agarro su fusil y comenzo a dispararle al oso,pero solo las balas le causaron

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50 & older sayings

Older the Buck, Stiffer the Horn!!!

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The peaceful Kingdom

One day in the kingdom of God all the animal were having a meeting and the Lion as the king said ----Brothers and sister as you all known fron now on

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Resurrection religious joke

A whole family decided to go see the historical and biblical places in Jerusalem,but while they were over there the older man was having a heart's attack

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Moses and the bible joke

Train up a child in the way he shall go : One weekend a mother send her boy to the Bible's Sunday School. She said,Go and see if you can learn something

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Mosquito love short joke

Looking for love in wrong places : The baby's mosquito said to his father,----Daddy, people love me a lot, wherever I go they always clapping their hands

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El espiritu de Dios, no es el espiritu de miedo

En una ceremonia catolica estaba el sacerdote dando su misa,y de repente las puertas de la iglesia se abrieron bruscamente y aparecio en medio de la congregcion

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Out of the mouth of babies joke

A boy was playing in front of his house and a man driving his car asked him for directions, The man---Excuse me boy,can you tell me, where is the post

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Snake and rabbit joke

A blind rabbit and a blind snake were in the field and suddenly they found each other,so the rabbit asked. Rabbit----Who is over there? Snake ----- I

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An angel on top of the Christmas 's tree

One Christmas eve Santa was preparing all his tools to go to work, but the night before somebody shot his deers,his dog dropped some shit on his boot,and

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Jehovah witness religious joke

Two Jehovah's witnesses came to a man's house, so they knocked and the guy said,I can not open the door right now so give me some materialto read under

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Many are called Religious joke

One Sunday morning at the church's service suddenly came in it two guys armed each one of them with AK-47 and they said -----Anyone who want to take a

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God's perception religious joke

A day for a thousand years and a thousand for a day A man was talking to God and he asked,---God how long is for you a million years? God said---Well

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Wrong direction religious joke

An airplane is about to crash and a catholic priest was there with the rest of the people and the priest said,----Children,let us pray because we are going

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A wholesome tongue short joke

Two women were talking to each other,and one said=== My husband and I have being married for 3 years and during those years he only directed his words

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God forgive and forget religious joke

A tall,big man and a little girl were talking and the girl says You known,I know God and he tells me everything that happen in the world The man says--If

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No one can slave for two masters

A man that never drink before, he went to the cantina's bar and he says to the bartender----Give me BACARDI until I pass out. The bartender says why you

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Cereal killer blonde joke

Man on the news, Attention everyone, there is a serial killer on the loose!! Brunette: I'll lock the doors!!' Blonde: I'll guard the fruit loops!..

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Funny irish joke

Did you hear about the two lepers playing poker ? one thru there hand in the other laughed his head off.........

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Whats the difference rude riddle

Whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black person on the side of the road? The dog has skid marks on it because they tried to stop for it.

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Blonde Celebration

There are 4 blondes sitting at a table in a bar celebrating. After fixing their 8th round of drinks the bartender went over to see what was going on.

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Teamwork

I like using teamwork on tests. Teachers call it cheating though

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Crash

An airplane crashed into the border of US and CANADA where will you bury the survivors?

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Mad Cow Short joke

There are two cows eating in a field. One cow says to the other Hey buddy what do you think about this mad cow disease I've been hearing about? The other

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Drunk joke the poles

A man once got drunk and was going back home and he was hitting every pole. A woman saw him and told him if he need it a ride. The man said,no. Then

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Plane joke Who Should be Saved ?

A doctor, scientist, corporate director and hippie were all travelling in a small aeroplane when the aeroplane started having problems whilst airborn.

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