Get ready for some of the best short hilarious jokes ever. And if you smart&sses think you can do any better (but I doubt it) then add your 2 cents worth at the bottom!
10) I phoned my builder and told him, "I should have a skip in front of my house."
He said, "I’m not stopping you."
9) Who is the poorest person in Mexico? Señor Tooth Fairy.
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8) A Termite walks into the pub, straight up to the bar counter and asks, "Is the bar tender here?"
(Do you need to think about that one - perhaps you should lie down, or visit the simple short hilarious jokes section?!)
7) What do you call an Irishman who sits outside all night?
Paddy O' Furniture
6) An honest tax accountant, father christmas, the easter bunny and a raving drunk are having a pint together when at the same moment they all spot a $100 bill lying on the floor. Who gets it?
The drunk of course, the others are obviously a figment of your imagination.
Top 5 Short Hilarious jokes
5) Why do elephants paint their toe nails pink and sit in berry trees?
Camouflage.
(Yeah I know what you're thinking, that's silly because it's not possible, well have you ever seen an elephant in a berry tree? Exactly, point made!)
4) What do you get when you cross a pit bull with Lassie? A dog that bites your arm off and then runs away to call for help.
3) Kilpatrick the Scotsman takes a huge jar of p!ss to the clinic to get it tested. The results come back and the nurse tells him there's no sign of any illness. He borrows the clinic phone, rings home and says, "Dad, good news, tell mom there's nothing wrong with her, you, uncle Jimmy, Billy, Alasdair, Mary, the Saint Bernard or me."
2) Old Texas saying, "If you can't dazzle them with your manliness, riddle them with bullets.
1) Why are ducks feet webbed? To stamp out all those forest fires!Why do elephants have such big feet? So they can stamp out burning ducks.
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What do you get if you cross breed a Collie with a Lhasa Apso?
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A Collapso !!
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