Free funny texting jokes: hilarious text messages

10) Why was she annoyed with her boyfriend? She discovered that Philip's 18 inch was a monitor.

9) You're slower than a slow boat to China sailing through a peanut butter and jelly sea.

8) If being ugly had to hurt, you would need a morphine drip.

7) If people actually resembled their ID pictures this would be one ugly world.

6) This is an exclusive message for the handsome and beautiful, however this has obviously reached the wrong number. Our apologies please cancel the message.

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Top 5 free funny texting jokes and SMS messages

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5) Naughty cell phone message: Press 1 for oral, 2 for anal, 3 for normal, 4 for a threesome, 5 for S&M, and for all of the above... you have my number!

4) My feelings for you are like a wild, tempestual sea. They make me sick!

3) My mother in law said I should walk 5 miles each day. She phoned me yesterday to check how far away I was.

2) Roses are red, violets are blue, some are ugly, but what the heck happened with you!

1)You have received a free brain upgrade, please wait during scanning process.... searching... searching... still searching.... sorry, brain not found!

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