The Very Best Wedding Jokes Ever

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10) It is an old married couple who celebrate their 50 year's wedding anniversary ... The man asked his wife:

After so much time spent together, you can confess if you cheated on me ...

His wife said haltingly:

- Remember that the loan for the house we had been refused and, two days later, the banker rang and said it was accepted?!

Ok ..... So, you did wrong only once?

- Nope ... The time when you almost lost your job ... the following week, your boss told you that you kept iy and you have never been bothered ever since ... Well ...

- Ok, twice but more for good causes, I forgive you ... Is that all?

- Nope. Do you remember when you started on the electoral roll?

- Yes, so what?

- Well, at the beginning you missed 2500 votes...

9) This is a guy who is getting married, he goes to confess a few hours before the ceremony.

When the priest finished, he asks:

- What do you command me as penitence, Father?

- No, my son you're getting married, it is already good enough as that! .. "

8) Two soldiers are training:

-Why have you joined the army ?

"Because I'm single and I like war ... And you ?

I am married and I wanted peace!

7) What is the difference between a bridegroom and a dog? After a year of marriage, the dog is still excited to see you coming back home.

6) When a groom looks happy we know why. When a man married for 10 years looks happy, we wonder why.

Our favorite best wedding jokes ever...

5) A husband and wife are shopping together on a Saturday afternoon:

- Honey, it's my mother's birthday tomorrow: shall we offer her an electric appliance?

- Good idea! What do you think of an electric chair?

4) Two girls are talking :

- I finally managed to get my boyfriend whom I've been dating for six years, to tell me about marriage.

- Really? And what did he say?

- Her name is Rose and they have three children.

3) Why singles are thin ? and why married men are fat? Just because the single, when he goes back home, he opens the fridge, he says "yuck !", and he goes directly to bed. While the married man, when he returns home, he looks in the bed, he says "yuck !", and he goes to the fridge.

2) A woman married for 25 years decides to call on the talents of a fortune teller. The latter makes a dramatic statement: "I regret to say that your husband will die a violent death." And the woman asks stoically: "Oh! And will I be declared innocent ? "

This last wedding joke is definitely an oldie but a goodie...

1) After the wedding night

A young man from Canada just married a beautiful girl. The day after the wedding night, friends of the groom meet him in the street and ask:

"So how did the wedding night go ?"

Oh no my friends, I wont tell you anything, it's really too intimate, "replied the young guy

"Dont be a pussy, tell us more!"

Well maybe you will not believe me, but she was mad at me! And excited with this. Quite simply, if I wanted, I could have screwed her !

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